Summer. I hate it. It makes me bitchy.

When I grew up in central Canada summers were warm and sunny, pleasant even. It was in the mid 1980’s that humidity started to play a major factor in our weather and it turned our ‘pleasant’ summers into a sticky, sweaty mess, and it turned seemingly normal people, like me, into irritable shrews.

I don’t tolerate heat well. I don’t like balmy climates. If I did I’d live in a rain forest. As it is my husband and I relocated to Canada’s east coast several years ago, where much to my relief, summers were shorter and bore no resemblance to the hot, hazy and humid summers that were now the norm in central Canada……until 2 years ago, when quite suddenly we leapt from winter to summer in a matter of days, and humid temperatures dominated the majority of our season. I had hoped this was just an anomaly but  this pattern was to repeat again last year and, it seems, again this year.

It’s spring here. Temperatures have been in the high teens (Celsius, which equates to mid sixties in Fahrenheit – perfect for me) It’s warm in the sun with a gentle breeze and NO humidity. Two days ago our temperatures suddenly spiked to over 30 degrees Celsius and the humidity was at 100%, releasing the beast in me. I realize it sounds irrational but surely I can’t be the only person in the world who doesn’t like heat. I hate that I can’t escape it. At least when it’s cold you can keep adding on layers but I can only take off so much before I risk being charged with indecent exposure.

Yesterday our local forecast advised of a cold front (YAY!) that was to approach in the overnight hours. This was the best news I’d heard in 2 days but when I awoke this morning it didn’t feel cold, not even cool. I listened to the weather forecast that confirmed today’s high was to be 15 degrees Celsius with 0% humidity. I glance at the thermometer outside my window noting it already read 24% and the muggy weight of humidity was so dense you could cut it with a knife. Where is this guy broadcasting from, Jupiter? And how can they be so wrong, so consistently wrong?

How many times have you heard someone say the best way to check the weather is to open a window? It’s certainly more effective that tuning in to your local weatherman. How can this be? These are highly educated Meteorologists. Environment Canada, the centre for weather tracking and alerts, boasts satellites and radar equipment costing millions of dollars, and yet they rely the activity of a rodent to predict the arrival of spring. Really?

I think it’s safe to say we’re on our own when it comes to the weather. If you glance out the window and it looks wet, it’s probably raining. If it’s sunny and warm you’ll know it by the sound of children playing and lawn mowers humming, and the aromas of neighbours barbequing will fill the air. If, however, humidity is to play a role in the day you’ll know it by me…I’ll be the puddle in sneakers at the side of the road.

Is it Fall yet?