I must be at that age where my mortality becomes a consideration of great import. That or I’m looking for a good time and tired of those who are dragging me down – not sure which. I look around and see people in my life I never would’ve imagined would be there, but they are, and they’re great, and I love them! I also see people in my life I’d rather not have,,,, in my life – too much drama, selfishness, baggage. (Bye, see you)
I am 62 years old and have to face the cold hard reality that I am in the ‘autumn’ of my life, maybe even the ‘winter’. You see, my mother is 92 and in long term care in advanced stages of dementia; a hideous brain sucking illness that drains not only the life of its’ victim, but also that of their loved ones. When we reflect back on her life we see signs,,,, signs we missed. By our calculation she was starting to lose her brain cells at 75 or 76, and by 80 she was visibly disabled mentally (couldn’t tell time, couldn’t count, put cat food in the washing machine, etc) and within just a few short years she progressed/declined into what is now a vegetative state.
Her mother suffered the same fate, as did her mothers’ sister. Now my mothers’ sister is displaying signs of dementia (big time) so my sister and I are understandably concerned. This genetic make-up doesn’t bode well for our future, a future I thought was further away. But at 62 I realize it’s closer than I imagined and I’m not confident there’s anything we can do to deflect this gruesome outcome so I’ve decided to make a few changes in my life.
I’m going to spend my time with people who make me laugh. People who are smart (but not arrogantly so – nobody likes a know-it-all) People who like music and children, yes, definitely children, people who dance, play games, eat great food, drink responsibly but appreciate a good buzz, people who never gossip or lie, people who respect life in all forms, and people who enjoy a good Bugs Bunny cartoon.
In return I will promise to get down on the floor and play with children, eat whatever you cook without criticism, not flinch when someone spills on the rug or leaves a ring on my table, let the dust accumulate on my furniture (I really hate dusting) nag you less…..ok, that’s not happening (I was born to nag,,,,why give up a good trait?) and live today like it was the biggest, bestest day of my life! (ok, ok, I know that’s grammatically incorrect but I’m focused on emphasis here so work with me)
The way I see it if I fall victim to my mothers fate I have 10 to 14 years of lucid life left and I plan to use it wisely i.e. I’m going to be very selective about who I spend it with and what I do. There are those in my life who make me want to laugh and dance and sing. I want to be with you. And there are those who weigh me down with sadness, neglect, and worry. I don’t want to be with you. These are the souls I’m cutting loose because life is really too short, shorter than I thought. So if I don’t reach out to you in the next 6 months to get together, it’s probably you. Learn from it.