My ‘vacation’

My husband was away for 4 days this past week at a golf tournament which meant it was ‘my vacation’ from him, and that’s a good thing. I honestly believe al couples need time away from each other to appreciate what they have when they get back. It also gives each the opportunity to ‘vacation’ in their own way.

Day one I got up early and went for a walk (before the heat,,,,Jesus I hate summer….can you hear me swearing from where you are,,,,ok, I digress,,,, sorry) then I went to a yoga class (this is my therapy, aka golf,so please indulge me) When I got home, I changed the bed, cleaned the bathrooms, tossed in a load of laundry and washed my car. Satisfied I’d made good use of my morning, I went in for celebratory breakfast and coffee. It was 10:45 am. Ok, I’ve got some time to kill so after breakfast I weeded the garden, vacuumed, and watered my neighbours plants. (she’s away) After lunch I did some long overdue ironing (it’s 38 degrees celsius,,,,stupid, stupid, stupid!) and cleaned out my china cabinet. Thankfully by the time I was finished it was dinner time so I made a salad (because with my husband gone I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and that means NOT meat and potatoes everyday) I poured myself a generous glass of wine and sat outside to enjoy the evening breeze, then I did some of my puzzles, read bit, showered and went to bed satisfied I’d made good use of my vacation day.

My husband played a so-so round of golf (as he describes it) practiced his putting for a couple of hours, and went out for dinner with ‘the boys’, after which he’s crashing….. been a busy day.

Day two. I got up early and went for a walk. My daughter, who just had a baby, asked me to pick up some groceries, which I did, (Covid makes it soooo unpleasant, no browsing over the produce, just grab it and run so you can rip that mask off your face the minute you exit the store)  and after I delivered them I made us a lovely lunch. I came home and during my 30 seconds of relaxation I noticed there were a lot of weeds coming up between the stones of my walkway, so I bent over to pull a few out. Three and a half hours later, my bushel full and knees sore from kneeling on stone, I poured myself a nice drink and settled outside to enjoy the evening breeze, satisfied once again I’d made the most of my vacation day. I made a salad and watched a bit of TV,,,,feels weird to have control of the remote.

My husband had a better round today and is heading out with ‘the boys’ to a celebratory dinner…. It was hot today and he’s ‘really tired’ but happy he’d had a fulfilling day.

Day three…..is mine,,,, all mine. I had pre planned a road trip with a friend. I picked her up at 10 and we drove to a local valley where we shopped (as much as you could with Covid) and had a lovely lunch at a local winery. I found the cutest little mermaid dolls for my granddaughters, who’d be staying with me in the next couple of days, and bought them knowing they’d be thrilled with them. Ok, now THIS is a vacation day! (I think I’m starting to get this) After dropping my friend off I came home and cleaned out the garage, watered my neighbours plants (still away) and cleaned the bathrooms. After I showered I went to bed tired but satisfied I’d made the best of my time today but vowing I’d be more productive tomorrow. While I was in bed I sipped my herbal tea and watched the news, marveling in the fact that the remote, once again, was mine. ( I never knew we had all these channels?)

My husband had a great day of golf. After 18 holes he went to the range to practice, then headed out for dinner with the boys……he was wiped.

Day four. I got up early and went for a walk, then to my yoga class. After that I came home and prepped the house for the arrival of my 2 granddaughters,,,,,filled the little pool (to warm the water) changed the beds, and ran out to the store for their favourite foods. I stopped in to my neighbours house to water the plants, in case I couldn’t get over later, only to find they were still saturated from the watering the day before. (ok, I’m no green thumb….you ask me to water you plants and you’re taking your chances) I stopped by my daughters house to drop off a few things she’d asked for, and by early afternoon I was in my car and on my way to pick my girls up from daycare. After returning home, I gave them a snack, unpacked their things and headed out for some pool time during which I emailed my husband to say I’d found these neat little mermaid dolls for the girls and thought it would be fun if he gave them to the girls as a gift he’d found while away (chicks dig that kind of thoughtfulness…..even little chicks,,,,go figure)

My husband emailed to advise he was playing mid morning which meant he wouldn’t be home until just after dinner (so could I save some for him?) He was looking forward to coming home so he could relax? (Wow, what was he doing if not relaxing?)

By early evening, the girls were fed and bathed when my husband arrived from his four day golf outing and they were thrilled to get a ‘present from Papa’ (the mermaids) He handed me a bag of laundry and headed up to shower citing, it’d been a long day and even longer ride home. He really needed a drink. (Wow, too bad I drank it all)

I need a vacation.

My vacation

 

Kindness of a Stranger

Last week I posted a blog, a brief appeal, in aid of a woman brutally assaulted, and while I knew there would be many who stepped up to donate to the cause, I was unprepared for the outpouring of sympathy and donations. I have a personal stake in this, knowing the individual, but I am completely humbled by the generosity of those who are literally strangers to the victim.

Kim remains in a drug induced coma, her family at her bedside, and her loyal followers grow in number. She is by no means out of danger; her injuries are extreme and should she pull through with enough strength to tackle a road to recovery her future is fraught with reparative surgery, not to mention the emotional damage. How does one recover from something so horrific? On one hand you pray she regains consciousness to help identify the assailant. On the other you mercifully pray she never remembers the horror of what she endured at the hands of such a beast.

Police have posted a video of a ‘person of interest’ seen following the victim on the evening of her disappearance and are appealing to the public to help identify them. Someone knows him and it would be in the interest of all citizens to see that this individual is apprehended because as long as he remains at large there is a very real threat to the safety of innocent people. The only disappointing thought to his capture is the knowledge that our judicial system will ensure his safety. He will never suffer the agony he inflicted on his victim, and therein lies the injustice. I struggle with the need to see an ‘eye for an eye’, but the world doesn’t need another vigilante.  And I feel so strongly that he should be damned to eternal hell, but I am not God, and it is not my place to pass judgement.

So all we can do is pray for Kims’ recovery, physically, mentally, and spiritually. To those who kindly shared words of support and encouragement, and to those who so generously donated to her cause, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you. It is the kindness of strangers that  restores our faith in humanity and gives us all hope.

There’s a place in heaven for people like you.

Thank you

Aging Gracefully

I was chatting with my father yesterday (he lives in another province) He’s 90 years old and in pretty good shape. He lives independently in a seniors residence (not assisted living) His age and spinal stenosis have made him physically frail (a good wind could knock him over) but his mind is sharp. He has friends in the same building that provide a fulfilling social life so for 90 he’s doing pretty well. He does however, struggle with the process of aging.

I call him every day just to check in and with each call I note the changes. No longer the strong protector who was my father, he is now more in need of protection, and evidence of his aging is frequent and obvious.

He was struggling with his hearing so my sister arranged for him to get hearing aids. Problem solved, yes? No. He doesn’t wear them because he says they’re hard to get used to, everything echoes. The technician at the hearing institute assured him this was common and it was simply a matter of adjusting the volume and getting used to the new sound but my father doesn’t want to wait it out. He wanted his hearing restored to where it was 25 years ago, immediately, so the hearing aids sit in a drawer, unused.

A few years ago we’d bought him a life alert necklace because he was living alone and we worried for his safety. It’s a remote monitor he would wear around his neck that would allow him to simply push a button should he fall or feel ill and need help. It was linked to my sisters’ email so she could monitor the usage. Once, when he was visiting my mother in long term care he fell asleep in her room and inadvertently pushed the button summoning emergency. He denied it was him and, declaring the monitor faulty, refused to wear it after that. After a time my sister noticed it was not being charged at all so we had to cancel it.

His walk is somewhat unsteady so we bought him a variety of canes for support. He also has a walker, should he need more support, but he refuses to use either because he says they make him look old. (What mirror are you looking in?)

Arthritis has stiffened his joints making it difficult to bend so he cut the bands of the top of his socks so they’d slip on easier.

Now we only find out these things by accident or in general conversation, he doesn’t ask for help or complain about any of these issues. He simply finds his own way of dealing with them and if you question him on it he brushes it aside.

Why is it so hard for us to age gracefully?  After 90 years of existence you’ve earned the right to be tired, or unsteady, or hard of hearing. In fact, other than your early childhood years, old age is the only other time you can get away with hearing loss, incontinence, memory lapses, and temperamental outbursts. I would think it’d be a relief to finally relax and just be.

But fight it we do.

Women will continue to apply the hair colour of a 22 year old even though their face clearly speaks otherwise. And men will take the few remaining hairs atop their head and wrap it around to cover the age spots on their scalp. They will all forgo social situations because the refuse to wear hearing aids and therefore can’t take part in conversations. They will refuse physical assistance because a cane or brace or walker makes them look old. (HELLO,,,,,,you ARE old) And you’re supposed to look old, but here’s a comforting thought,,,,,one day all of us will be there, sporting sensible (Velcro) shoes, industrial underwear (Depends), false teeth, and glasses suspended on a beaded necklace. I just hope our generation is a little more accepting of it.

Aging Gracefully

Please help Kim

I don’t support random causes or chain letters but this particular story hit close to home, A woman in her 50’s went for a walk in her Whitby Ontario neighbourhood 2 nights ago. When she didn’t return by dark her husband called police who immediately started a search. She was found the next morning wrapped in a blanket and left at a riverside like trash.
She was brutally assaulted, Every bone in her face and all ribs are broken. One lung is collapsed. There is no brain damage but it is unknown the extent of internal organ damage. She was sexually violated. She remains in a drug induced coma in ICU in Toronto.
You can imagine what that road to recovery will look like mentally and physically. The whole family will require medical care and neither she nor her husband have benefits.
I know this woman and that’s why I write this. She is the sister of my in laws and she is a lovely woman, wife, mother, sister and friend. Please, if you can help, do. Link below, and thank you.
https://gf.me/u/yjc27z

KImmy

Professional Courtesy

Forgive me but I need to rant because for the 2nd time in the past few years I have fallen victim to shoddy treatment by a medical professional. I’m respectful of those who have achieved higher education for the benefit of others but I draw the line at those who do not reciprocate that same respect. (you know, if it wasn’t for us, you’d have no patients and therefore no livelihood)

Like so many women I have had annoying bladder issues for the better part of my adult life and at my last physical my GP suggested we look into it further to see if we could find a cause. I was referred in January 2019 to a ‘Bladder Clinic’ located  in Halifax. Two weeks ago in June, 18 months after the referral, I got a call for an appointment in early July. (ok, they’re either really, really good, justifying an 18 month wait, or really, really bad at time management) The offices are located in the main hospital, a bit of a nuisance as it’s in the centre of the city but at least my appointment was mid afternoon, so I shouldn’t encounter any business traffic. Two days before the appointment I received a call asking me to come earlier to allow for Covid screening, which is required everywhere now. No problem. I arrived at 2:00 for my 2:30 appointment.

Once screening was complete I was sent up to the offices where I was registered at the main desk, then directed to a waiting area. After about 10 minutes I was taken into an office where a nurse asked some preliminary questions and ran a few tests. She was friendly and pleasant when leaving, and wished me a nice day advising the doctor would be in shortly, closing the door behind her. The only furnishing in the sparse room was a bed, some bins full of equipment and a desk with a computer. I glanced at the computer screen noting it was 2:38pm when the nurse left me.

I didn’t have my cell with me or any reading material so I busied myself counting the ceiling tiles and looking out the window. Every so often I’d hear footsteps and readied myself to meet the doctor, but they all went past my door. I checked the time on their computer frequently (there was nothing else to do) and grew more and more irritated with each passing moment. Finally, at 4:00 I opened the door hoping someone would notice I was in there, still waiting. I glanced out into the hallway and the only person other than me was an elderly man mopping the floors. The waiting room was empty. I glanced into the 2 adjoining offices and they too were empty. I wandered out further and glanced down the hall but not a sole was to be seen. Puzzled I walked out to the registration area where I’d checked in to ask if they could help me but the main doors were closed, the staff apparently gone home. I went back into the room gathered my things and left, super annoyed, largely at the doctor for operating such sloppy business practices, but partially at myself for being stupid enough to sit there for an hour and a half.

When I arrived home my husband said the doctors office had called at 4:05 looking for me, which would coincide with my departure because my parking ticket was stamped 4:07 when I paid to leave, so she finally arrived in the examination room just after I left. He said they were apologetic about the delays, ‘they were really busy’, and wanted me to call to reschedule. Really? I waited a year and a half for the appointment, wasted half a day, paid $10.00 for parking, and spent just under an hour driving home because now I was in rush hour traffic. Do you honestly think I will EVER come back to this office? What kills me here is the arrogance. You leave a prospective new patient in a closed room for 90 minutes and never check in to let them know the situation? How dare you treat people this way. It’s a lucky thing you’re paid by government cause if this was a private business you’d be bankrupt!

The license granted to a professional entitles them to ply their trade, period. It does not give them license to treat another poorly simply because they can, and how they choose to behave is very much a choice, a choice of conscience, and shamefully some so called ‘professionals’ clearly do not have a conscience. (I guess all that education can’t buy you common courtesy?)

If you truly had a calling to help humanity in the form of medical aid then do it with humility and what should be mutual respect, and if you can’t manage that, go get a job with the post office or airport security – where patrons are used to being treated like crap.

Professional Courtesy

 

 

The Speed Demon

That’s me. I am one of those people who does everything in high gear. I walk fast, talk fast, I even eat fast (my husband calls me ‘The Hoover’ because he says I inhale my food like a vacuum) By contrast, my husband is exceedingly methodical. By the time he has selected his condiments, freshened his drink, and settled down to eat I’m done and already eyeing his pork chop. (Jeez, when I see it in print I feel like the Tasmanian Devil)

I don’t quite know what it is that sets our pace but I do know that, for me at least, it’s locked in place, I just can’t seem to slow down. I once worked with a woman who did everything at a snail’s pace. She walked slowly, carefully, and every action she performed was orderly and well thought out. I could no sooner slow down to her pace than she could speed up to mine and in hindsight we probably made quite a sight, she slowly gliding along, and me kicking up the dust in a flurry of movement beside her.

Even when I walk I move quickly, I know,  not because I’m aware of it, but because I’m usually breathless when I get to my destiny. There’s a very small number of friends willing to walk with me because they usually can’t keep up. I don’t stroll or saunter. I walk with purpose, my stride is confident, and if you’re in my way, you should move cause I won’t be held responsible for injury sustained when I bowl you over.

You would think then that I would be a prime candidate to run, but no (I guess I’m not in that much of a hurry) I do not run or jog, for 2 reasons. First, it hurts. On the rare occasion I’ve had to run my hip joints seized up so tight I could barely move for days after. Second, it’s no fun. I defy you to find any jogger smiling as they run past you. They always look pained and well,,,, angry, as though some one forced them to do it. (I have no desire to inflict such pain on myself) At least when I walk I can relax, and I do.

I wonder occasionally about the effects of rushing on my health. Does my inability to slow down keep me fit or does it exhaust my system such that I could suffer long term ill effects (could this be why I have high blood pressure?) On the other hand, I sleep very soundly and for a good 8 hours each night,,,,surely that must be restorative, and likely a direct result of my high energy pace in waking hours?

I know with certainty I am not alone. There are many like me who consistently run on high and I’m not sure which is better, moving through life in a hurry or taking it easy. On one hand I’d like to think speeding through life means I can accomplish more in the same amount of time. On the other, I wonder if I’m missing things because in my rush I’m not “stopping to smell the roses”. Either way, I don’t see myself changing any time soon so I see no point in over-analyzing it (I don’t like the smell of roses anyway)

speed demon

She’s heeeeeeeeere!

My daughter just had her first baby, a girl, and my 4th granddaughter.(this’d be a good time to invest in shares of Procter & Gamble cause in about 14 years sales of feminine products are gonna sky rocket, thanks to my childrens contribution to the growing female population!) She came into this world kicking and screaming and if she’s anything like her mother she’ll remain feisty. (she gets that from her father)

I marvel at her very existence. Her mind is a clean slate and every day of her future offers endless possibilities. She will have choices, choices of her education, her career, her lifestyle, and opportunity abounds. She will make mistakes, mistakes that cause her heartache and suffering, and she will celebrate her many successes. Each life event, good or bad, will leave its’ mark on her sole and at the end of her time here, that weathered sole is all she will take with her when she leaves this world. Wouldn’t we all like to start over, skip the mistakes, make better choices? Maybe,,,,,, maybe not.

When I look back on my life now I see where I erred. I have my regrets and there’s any number of situations I might’ve handled differently, but if I had, would I still be the same person I am today? (Now there’s a loaded question)

Like anyone, I have my moments of reflection and there are events that have occurred in my life I’m not quite sure I understand but I have to trust that they occurred for a reason. Each encounter brought someone new into my world, if only briefly, and each experience, good or bad, taught me something of value and I’d like to think I gleaned what I could from each, adding to my library of information. Now, in my mature years, I scan the books in my library and allow myself to wallow in the memories. The painful memories are now less painful, lessons having been learned, and the happy memories remain happy and fresh in my minds’ eye. (maybe that’s our reward for surviving the battle of life?)

Today dear granddaughter you begin your journey, your battle to survive life. You will play and learn and laugh and cry, and I am privileged to be one of those chosen to walk this path with you. I promise to help you see the beauty of this life and I will help you to shoulder the challenges. All I ask of you is to be kind, to yourself and others. Give yourself room to grow, forgive wholeheartedly, and love unconditionally, and know that it’s ok to falter.

It’s ok to cry, let it out (it’s cleansing and teaches us humility)

It’s ok to make mistakes because that’s how you will learn. (trial and error)

It’s ok to say or do something you regret, as long as you make it right for all involved. (keep a clear conscience)

It’s ok to not be perfect because none of us are, just celebrate who you are (no judgement)

and, most importantly,,,,,,, it is always, ALWAYS ok to have salami and Oreo cookies for breakfast at Nana’s house.

Welcome to the world little one!

Shes here

Music – the universal language

I love music and keep my radio on all day. In fact, if I had to give up one of my electronic devices, it’d be my television set. (there’s nothing worth watching anyway) And I love a very broad range of music styles, Calypso, Reggae, Country, Rock, Pop, and even some Classical (not Jazz though, never Jazz,,,and no bagpipes,,,,ghastly noise) I am neutral on most artists because every artist is likely to have at least one song I like, and I do have my favourites. I love Nana Mouskouri – hers is a very unique style, an operatic voice set to a combination pop/classical/European folk music, with a substantial Greek band behind her. I admire her range and respect her knowledge of several languages, in all of which, she sings fluently.

I like KD Lang. Her crystal clear voice and throaty after-tones, tell you without a doubt that she is feeling every note of her music. When she sings, she is ‘The Girl from Ipanema’, and I’ve yet to hear any one singer or group sing Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ like she does. Some songs are just meant for one artist. Elvis and ‘Can’t help falling in love’, Bing Crosby and ‘White Christmas’, many have tried their version of these songs but there’s nothing quite like the original. (so give it up already and find your own songs instead of coasting on the coattails of another’s success)

I admire the multi-talented female artists like Alison Krauss and Dolly Parton but you can only listen to one or two songs before you’ve had enough because of their high pitched voices….after a while it starts to sound too much like shrieking. (I think mid pitched voices are the easiest on the ears, alto or the male baritone) And while Sarah McLachlan and Diana Kroll have lovely voices, I can’t appreciate eithers genre. Diana Krolls’ ‘Bluesy’ style always takes me to a smokey saloon where a hard looking woman is sobbing into her cups, and Sarah McLachlans’ style is exceedingly somber (does she ever sing anything upbeat?) I’ve dubbed hers ‘music to slit your wrists by’.

And I know I’m alone in saying this but I honestly think Roy Orbison and Vince Gill strain when they sing. It’s like the song has been set in a key that’s just slightly out of range of their ability.

I like Keith Urban, Cat Stevens, and John Fogarty but I also harbor a secret love of the older performers like Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra, or the more eclectic Don Ho and Trini Lopez….they’re just fun. And I’m not beyond enjoying an evening of Austrian folk music or Italian love songs.

I love a good vocal group but I can’t appreciate those that are repetitive in their style,,,like ‘The Beachboys’. Every song sounds like the last, monotonous and predictable, and very dated. Love the Eagles, Little Big Town, Simon and Garfunkel, most Blue Grass groups, and if you play me Latin or Spanish guitar music I’ll follow you anywhere, love those strings.

I guess what I love most about music is its’ ability to take me away. There’s no thought needed, no effort, just close my eyes and float with the melodies. Ok, every now and then I belt out a tune myself but I live on a remote property so there’s no risk of embarrassing myself,,,,although I have on occasion scattered a flock of crows or startled a deer into bolting. (guess they’re not music lovers?) And I can have nothing in common with another except that we both like a certain song or artist and boom, we’re friends. Music has the ability to calm the sole, entertain the mind, and ignite even the most unlikely relationships. It really is the universal language (let it speak to you)

Even as I write this my radio plays in the background and I have to stop periodically to sing along. (Funny, a woman just passed by walking her dog and when I started to sing he started howling….which proves music speaks to all life forms, yes?) Thank heaven for musicians, vocalists and radio transmission….I couldn’t imagine my life without them. (Gotta go croon me a little ditty!)

Music the universal language

Keep a level head

The Covid virus forced all of us to adopt new practices with respect to hygiene and social distancing to ensure we minimize the spread. At the height of the pandemic most resorted to wearing facial masks for even the simplest outing, you just couldn’t be too careful.  Now, despite the fact that this virus is currently under control in our province many businesses still, understandably, require the use of facial masks and very detailed screening; dental offices, hair salons, etc, where close facial contact is unavoidable, and this makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is the blatant fearmongering of those who clearly don’t know when to employ a sense of reason.

A friend was grocery shopping earlier this week and while browsing the shelves of food, a woman behind her sneezed. She did so in her sleeve and she was a good 10 feet behind. My friend says she was startled, not by the sneeze, but by the reaction of another woman ahead of her. The woman literally jumped back and pressed her back up against the shelves, as though lining up for a firing squad, a look of panic on her face. Do you think this reaction is just a tad over the top? What did she think would happen,,,,that the impact of the sneeze would blow her head off? For God’s sake, people sneeze, and we are at the height of allergy season. Could it be this panic-stricken victim is a prime candidate for curbside pick-up or home delivery?

Another friend said she inadvertently went down the ‘wrong way’ in the grocery aisle and was the recipient of several dirty looks. You know, this whole roadmap maze thing in grocery stores is new to all of us, and she’s not the first to ‘take a wrong turn’. I’ve done that myself and I hardly think it fair to condemn those of us who are still getting used to all the new rules.

I can’t help but think people are over-reacting. Yes, we need to be careful. We need to adopt new routines for contact and cleanliness, but we also need to be realistic. I’m puzzled by the lone driver who’s wearing a mask. He’s the only one in the vehicle and all the windows are closed. What’s he protecting himself from?

And I’m stunned every time I see someone out walking, alone or with a pet, and they’re wearing a face mask. There’s not a living sole in sight,,,why would they need a mask? Surely they can’t think that inhaling fresh air outdoors is lethal, and if they do, they’re beyond paranoid and shouldn’t be venturing out at all. What is wrong with these people? Have they no common sense?

Medical experts have made it clear face masks will not prevent you from getting the virus, they will simply protect others from your germs, whatever they are, i.e. if you aren’t sick you’ve nothing to spread to another. The donning of a face mask is recommended in many public places but is not mandatory. I have not been ill so I am not likely to spread anything to anyone else, so at the moment, I do not feel the need to wear a mask. That said, I always carry one with me so that should I find myself in a situation that requires one, I’ll be ready. I will not wear a mask when walking alone outdoors, and I certainly won’t wear one when driving alone in my car. That just doesn’t make sense for me but I will respect another’s choice in these situations because while it may be puzzling, it hurts no one. It’s just odd.

What I will not accept is the ridiculous over-reactions of those who make it their mission to target the rest of us in society who exercise a little common sense. We are being careful. We are mindful of others and committed to distancing, and should this dreadful virus spike again we will all exercise extreme measures as warranted but we will also act with a rational mind and a level head. Get real already.

The ‘second wave’ of this virus is predicted to hit in the fall, in line with regular flu season, and given that the symptoms are similar, I can’t imagine how these fear mongers will react then. (They’ve probably already ordered their cosmonaut suit.) I pray the predictions for fall are wrong. And I pray every day that a vaccine is developed, but until such time I will continue to practice caution in my daily routines to ensure I protect myself and others, however, I will also keep a level head because panicking will only lead to irrational behaviour and we already have enough of that in society without the pandemic.

Panic

The Finger of Blame

On a recent news broadcast our Prime Minister was seen kneeling with other protestors at a rally for anti-racism, and while this was clearly intended to be an act of solidarity, support, and compassion, it was instead criticized because he wasn’t social distancing. Had he not attended the rally he would’ve been blamed for lacking compassion (you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t) and I was disappointed that the opposition chose such a sensitive situation to call him out. Surely there are more relevant political issues to challenge? But call him out they did.

Several weeks ago we experienced a mass murder. It was horrific and many lives were senselessly lost, many families destroyed forever. The investigation is ongoing and the public are updated as to status and findings. Amid these updates come the accusatory comments from various groups blaming everyone from the police to rescue workers, to Canada’s emergency alert system for not advising the public sooner. The reality is that nothing like this has every happened here before and no one could’ve fathomed that it would. We can only help heal those who’ve suffered and work to establish a routine that will ensure this won’t happen again, i.e. pointing the finger of blame after the fact, is easy. It’s also counter-productive and serves no purpose.

Why then are we so quick to point the finger of blame? Does it somehow absolve us of any perceived guilt, or are we looking to make another accept responsibility? Sometimes things just happen and the constructive response should be to learn from it and move on. Maybe it’s human nature, and if so, what a shame, because the energy we spend pointing fingers could be better utilized working on solutions.

We blame our municipal government for delays in traffic due to construction, but if they didn’t repair the roads we’d blame them for damage to our vehicles caused by pot holes.

We blame factories for polluting our air, yet we buy every available gadget they manufacture because it makes our lives easier so if they were to stop manufacturing we’d blame them for taking away our gagets.

For that matter, we blame society for traffic and heavy volumes but you’d be hard pressed to find a home anywhere that doesn’t boast a minimum of 2 to 3 cars in their driveway.

We blame our education system for failing to provide necessary tutelage to our children when they can’t keep up with the curriculum, yet we forgo spending that time with them as parents because it’s more important that they go to hockey practice or dance class. And we blame our teachers for not giving the much needed individual attention to our children but if we hire more teachers to give them that better teacher/student ratio it’d raise our taxes and we’d blame the government for that.

Maybe we’re just a society of complainers, after all it’s easier to point the finger of blame than it is to do something about it.

At the end of the day we are all responsible for what goes on in this world, so maybe it’s time we stood up and took responsibility. I, for one, have been blaming the Covid virus for my weight gain. Isolation meant every day was spent planning the next meal (and eating it) and because we could go nowhere every day was Friday, so you celebrated with a couple of glasses of wine. (This regimen does not make for a lithe body) I see now there’s no one to blame but me for this (although I did search for a scapegoat) so I am accepting blame and doing something about it. I still spend my days planning my next meal but I’ve incorporated more veggies, less starch, AND I’ve switched to vodka (it’s lower in calories)

Small steps……taking the blame instead of giving it, isn’t easy.

Blame