We all have those days when for no reason at all we just feel a little blue or out of sorts. There’s nothing that actually triggers this feeling of despondency, we’re just not ‘elated’ with life today.
I woke up a few days ago with this feeling and I automatically assumed it was going to be a low key day, a ‘downer’. In an attempt to bring myself out of it I decided to go for a long walk. Maybe a solitary stroll would clear my head and give me a positive perspective. I started out head down, staring at my feet as I walked, focusing on the steady rhythm and eventually letting my mind wander. What was my problem? Life, for the most part, was good, great in fact. I had my health, my home, my family, my friends. I’d suffered no setbacks, so what did I have to feel blue about? And yet I did,,,,, so I forced my thoughts into a deep analysis to find the source of my malaise.
A quick review of past days revealed no concerns; no issues had arisen to warrant a shift in mood, and while the immediate future held no planned excitement, it also held nothing to dread. In fact, it held nothing at all. Was that my problem? That life was mundane and uneventful? Ok, there are worse crimes in life than monotony and this dawning made me angry with myself, resentful even. What right did I have to mourn a boring existence when there are people in the world with legitimate issues to cry over?
I wandered for a while reprimanding myself for this self-indulgence and then it hit me. What’s wrong with a little self-pity? Everyone has the right to wallow a little. Life isn’t always thrilling. Each day doesn’t dawn sunny and bright with the promise of joyful events. Some days are cloudy and grey, and we’ve nothing good to anticipate other than our continued existence. Ok, so what’s wrong with that? Well for starters, some days I want just a little more. How human of me!
As I allowed this revelation to sink in my stride increased. In fact, there was a definite spring in my step now and I decided I liked the direction these thoughts were taking me in….it absolved me of any responsibility for my mood (I like that best of all…pass the buck!) Like most, I’ve worked hard, still do, and for the most part my life is good, very good. So if I want to indulge myself in a little ‘pity party’ who’s to deny me? I’m entitled. I’ve earned it. And as long as I refrain from inflicting my mood on others, who am I hurting really? Allowing myself to host my own pity party gives me the opportunity to take stock. For the things in my life that go wrong I cry a little, or rant a lot. And for the things that go right, I celebrate. Either way, I’m letting it out and in doing so I’m dealing with life, even the boring parts.
After letting this sink in I felt better. My mood had lifted and I was happy again. And while I wouldn’t recommend dwelling on the things that make one blue, I also wouldn’t recommend ignoring them. Indulge yourself in a little self-pity. Wallow a little; hell, wallow a lot! You’ve earned it. But once it’s over (the party, that is) it’s over; move on to all that is good in your life.
Now I find myself looking forward to my occasional pity parties because I’ve come to realize that without these ‘low’ days I’d never recognize or appreciate the ‘high’ ones, both giving me cause to celebrate… they’re therapeutic and, thanks to the addition of a nice merlot, they’re also much more festive than they used to be.
We all feel blue, often for no reason, and next time you do, crack open a bottle of wine and have yourself a good ole fashioned pity party. It’s good for the soul.