We women have to stick together. It’s the code of the sisterhood. (thou shalt not neglect thine sister, remember?) We do not leave our friends at a bar. We do not leave their drinks unattended. And we do not give them an honest opinion about their body. (probably because they’ll reciprocate with an honest opinion about ours) They are never wrong…it’s the other guys fault, always, and they are NOT just like their mother.

We ALWAYS tell them when there’s food in their teeth, why the guy ditched them, and when it’s time to call their mother. We also NEVER remind them of stupid things they’ve done.

Unlike men, women have a code of conduct that ensures no embarrassing moments. It’s the unwritten rule that protects us from society’s criticisms (ok, our criticisms….women really are the worst for dissecting each other)

Last year when my son got married I experienced such a ‘moment’. Just after the ceremony I dashed to the washroom to empty out the 2 glasses of wine I’d slugged back before the speeches started. I hiked up my dress, did what was needed, then stepped to the sink to wash my hands. I felt something wet slap the back of my legs and looked back to see that the chiffon cape attached to the back of my dress was soaked. Apparently when I hiked up my skirt I missed grabbing that piece and it was dunked into the toilet (OMG, I peed on my cape!) Well isn’t that lovely? Mother of the groom.

I could hear the speeches starting up so desperate I yanked the cape to the front, washed it in the sink, then held it up in front of the hand dryer for what seemed like an eternity. Finally it was dry and appeared to be stain free so I flew back out to enjoy the wedding. (getting that dress to a dry cleaner was my first priority after that weekend) I was mortified at my clumsiness but thanks to the 2 glasses of wine from earlier, not as discreet as I probably should’ve been. Upon exiting the washroom I bumped into the mother of the bride (who’d managed to keep her dress pee-free…show off) and she roared! She also told her sisters who were standing nearby and we all had a good laugh.

A year passed and I happened to bump into these women at another function and one of them reminded me of my little ‘accident’. (I had completely forgotten about it but thanked her for the memory) We laughed all over again, just in fun because that’s what our entourage does. Protects us, laughs with us (never at) and, going forward, holds up our dress when we have to pee.