Yesterday, it’s gone, and that’s ok.
New year celebrations are now firmly behind us, and thank goodness! I am not a fan of New Year’s parties. I resent having to stay up later than I’d like simply because the date is changing (you know, it’ll come whether we’re awake or not) and I especially hate the behaviours of some New Year’s Eve revelers (too many men use New Years as an opportunity to get drunk and grope everybody else’s wife) Suffice it to say, I don’t like New Year’s Eve but I do love the prospect of a new future – there’s 365 tomorrows full of promise ahead of us and I can’t wait to see what is in store for me!
Now I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions, for no reason in particular. I just don’t feel the need. If improvements need to be made to myself or my life, I’d like to think I’d act on it as the need arises versus waiting for a deadline to ‘motivate’ me. I am not perfect , I make mistakes, and like anyone, there’s things about me I could change, if I really wanted to. I guess I just don’t allow myself to dwell on the things I didn’t do – it just seems counterproductive. (besides, who needs to be reminded of their shortfalls?) I do, however, allow myself to reflect on what I did accomplish in the past year and that’s a pat on the back we all need.
So I didn’t lose 20 pounds, learn to speak Italian, take up yoga, return to church, volunteer at a charity, join a book club, or meditate daily.
I am learning to love my additional girth, (even if only a little..ok, all I need is one good flu to kick start a new diet! Hope is the last to die)
I bought the Rosetta Stone CD to teach myself Italian, (ok, my son bought it for me 4 years ago and I’ve yet to crack it open, but when I last travelled to Italy, everybody spoke English……if Italians aren’t speaking it, why should I?)
I have been taping various yoga programs to find a suitable style for me, (I watch them almost daily (…is it my fault the right program has yet to appear? As soon as the right one presents itself, I’ll participate)
As for returning to church, well, let’s just say God and I have an agreement (as soon as the Catholic church moves out of the 14th century and peps up the atmosphere a little, I’ll be there, Until then, I go direct to the big guy and he seems to be ok with it)
As for volunteering at a charity, that’s a toughie. I can’t even make eye contact with a homeless person because my tears well up – I can’t seem to detach myself from the emotional aspect of those less fortunate (if I volunteered at a soup kitchen I’d probably end up needing more consolation than those I’m serving) No, I’m not capable of that kind of task – If I’m truly meant to aid others I need some direction as to other ways to be of charitable service. (it’s not for everyone)
I also didn’t join a book club. I would’ve liked to, but to date I haven’t been invited to join one I’d like to be a part of. (ok, I haven’t been invited to any…I guess I’m not as popular as I thought)
And as for meditation, I did try, and will again. It isn’t easy to gain the discipline needed to truly relax the mind but I suspect practice is what is needed so I will continue to make the effort and, as luck would have it, I have a whole new year ahead of me to give it a go!
A clean slate!
If I had to make any resolutions, I would make only one. “Don’t look back to yesterday” I did the best I could with what I had at the time, and if it didn’t work out as well as it should have, well, that’s a sign to try something else. It is not a reason to berate myself, so don’t go there.
I’m a good person, with good intentions, as I believe we all are, and I like me just the way I am. The past year gave me time with my family and friends in a wonderful way, and the New Year poses opportunities for me to expand on that. And if somewhere in there I manage to read an Italian book, on yoga, while on route to a book club meeting, hosted by a priest, I’ll try to meditate on ways to help those less fortunate. If not, I will still be ok….I’ll just re-evaluate my goals for the following year.
I’m ok, and life is good. Love and accept yourself, just the way you are.
Happiness and blessings.