We’re so busy living the mechanics of life we often forget to enjoy it. So many of us spend our life always in search of the perfect partner, home, job, whatever; that magic elixir that will make us purely happy.
My mother was a restless soul; always searching for the perfect home; the perfect neighbourhood, and whenever we moved it was always declared the perfect place, the one she’d always dreamed of, the permanent place, but invariably within 10-12 months she’d grow restless again and we knew another move was imminent. Her final move, recently, was to long term care, and while I know this is her last move, I wonder if she’s still searching. And if so, for what? Does it even exist? Was she ever happy?
This ‘searching’ isn’t uncommon. In fact, I know of others who always seem to be in search of what appears to be ‘that unattainable something’, they don’t know what, it’s just slightly out of reach, but oh so perfect.
I suppose we all dream of the perfect life; ultimate happiness, and after much reflection I’ve come to realize that true happiness comes from appreciating what we have, not what we’re missing. While out walking a few weeks ago I suddenly came to the conclusion that I am happy, right here, right now. After years of searching for the perfect job, struggling with diet and exercise, trying to portray the image of the perfect family, I realized that what I had was what I really wanted. No job is perfect, no family is without issues, and no one is a size 8 forever. I spent 35 years in a career I didn’t love, but I survived to retirement. I’ve been married to the same man for 35 years and we still laugh, a lot – and more since we retired (ok, we laugh at those still working, but we laugh) I am not a size 8 and have learned to live with it. In fact, I’ve grown accustomed to seeing a little more of me than I used to and I now appreciate my excess insulation.
What would it take to make you happy? The perfect partner? (they don’t exist, and if you do happen to find Superman, what makes you think you’re Superwoman enough for him?) The perfect job? (mine would be the gal who travels the worlds’ most exclusive resorts rating their spa services – honestly, whose daughter do you have to be to get that job?)
Money. Lots and lots of it. Would that bring ultimate happiness? (not if you’re terminally ill, or going through a break-up, grieving the passing of a loved one, or just lonely)
Happiness isn’t getting what you want, when you want it. It’s about enjoying what you have while you have it. Live in the moment and choose to be happy with what you have. Chances are it’s more than many, and it could be gone tomorrow.
Life is good.
2 thoughts on “Are you happy?”
Beautifully written Emily.
Having our health and family is what truly makes us happy.
Love having you as my sister in law!
Emily I am late in reading this, however, your blog is truly ‘sunny side up’ and is beautiful and we need to hear this again and again! It gave me shivers! My colleague’s husband, 55, just had a heart attack! We were at the Chicken Burger
in Bedford with them on Saturday eve watching drive in show, “The Notebook” and this Monday eve, we get word about this health issue! You are right, it is the hear (here) and
now that we have…your story is amazing! Thank you for this great reminder!!!